So long, Chuck.

My Uncle Chuck died the other day. Apparently he had a heart attack in his sleep and passed quietly in the night.

To be clear, Chuck was in no way related to me by blood. My parents got married in graduate school and had a ridiculously close group of friends there. Chuck was someone I grew up calling 'Uncle' because he was the kind of man my parents trusted to be a part of their infant son's life. I also grew up calling his partner Jerry 'uncle' as well. Having my formative years in frequent contact with an unashamed and openly gay couple certainly informed my outlook on why their lifestyle was no less natural than a heterosexual couple.

Jerry died almost 20 years ago of complications to AIDS. He was diagnosed in the early 80s and to my knowledge was one of the first few thousand cases in the USA. I can remember, at 5 years old, visiting Uncles Chuck and Jerry and overhearing them giving a sermon to my 16 year old brother about how important condoms are and how much pain they would cause him if he didn't keep one on him at all times. Of course, I had no idea what the hell a condom was at that age, but I recall hoping fervently my brother would forget to carry his so I could see him get in trouble.

I learned how to play Charades with Chuck and Jerry and attribute my current mastery of this noble sport to their tutelage. I uttered my first word (moon) around them. I most certainly inherited my desire to have a group of friends I could call 'family' from observing their interactions with my parents and seeing how loving and welcoming these people could be to me.

The first time I cried at a funeral was when we poured Jerry's ashes in the Pacific (it was a windy day and all the adults joked about the contrary bastard blowing back in our faces just for the laughs). I doubt I'll be able to make it to Chuck's funeral and share with the survivors of that family how much Chuck touched my life. But I can type it here and leave it etched in the Eternal Google Cache.

So until the death of the internet or the electrical storm that vanishes this record from the world - Uncle Chuck; I love you. I'll miss you. You'll always be family. Say hi to Jerry for me.